My Cultural Diet

Given their fixation on immigration and the border, it might be surprising that MAGA types haven’t latched onto Joseph Zito’s Invasion U.S.A. as a prescient wake-up call. After all, it’s about an army of terrorists arriving on Florida’s shores and taking advantage of our freedoms and liberties to move unrestricted and unleash terror and violence in American cities. And of course, the only one who can stop them is that manliest of men, Chuck Norris, in all of his mulleted glory. On paper, Invasion U.S.A. seems like a MAGA dream come true. But MAGA types — who generally think Putin is awesome — would probably sour on the film upon learning that the invasion is a Russian scheme. And then there’s the fact that the film, which was roundly criticized for its wanton violence, is just. So. Darn. Boring. Despite the film being about a nation-wide invasion, 98% of the action apparently takes place in Miami’s suburbs and side streets, making the film’s stakes feel considerably smaller. Also, somebody forgot to tell Norris that “glum” and “dour” are not synonyms for “bad-ass.” His “haunted CIA agent” character is supposed to be intense, hence the constantly steel-jawed performance, but onscreen, he has no personality or charisma. Norris obviously intended Invasion U.S.A. to be a serious “statement” film, but it’s so portentous and heavy-handed that it’s hard to enjoy even as a Cannon Films cult oddity.

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