My Cultural Diet

When you watch a “classic” IFD ninja film from the ’80s, you know to go in with low expectations, but even then, Cobra Against Ninja is particularly underwhelming. Though directed by Joseph Lai, it uses the same cut-and-paste approach to filmmaking as (in)famously employed by his colleague and collaborator, Godfrey Ho, just not as well. This time around, a group of recent graduates from boot camp find themselves mixed up with gangsters and a ninja gambling tournament. When it comes to IFD films, the connections between their original ninja footage (which is sorely lacking here) and whatever source film they’re hacking to pieces are tenuous at best, but that’s doubly so with Cobra Against Ninja. It doesn’t help that the source film — 1978’s Kaa maa jaak meuang na-kon, apparently — is boring as all get out, with bland characters and interminable plotting, even with the dubbing. I did appreciate, though, that one of the gang’s female members was given a broad New York accent à la Fran Fine. Also, in keeping with IFD tradition, the soundtrack features almost certainly unlicensed songs from Glass Tiger, INXS, Joy Division, and Tangerine Dream. I picked Cobra Against Ninja because it stars IFD stalwart Richard Harrison as the champion ninja — lest there be any doubt about that, he wears a bright yellow headband with the word “Ninja” emblazoned on it — but not even Harrison can save what turns out to be the worst IFD film I’ve seen to date.

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